


Wasting from Inside

by obsequies



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Abuse, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Horror, Bottom Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Cheating, Child Abuse, Horror, KH3 spoilers, M/M, Masturbation, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Riku is 19, Self-Discovery, Sexual Abuse, post-kh3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:38:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsequies/pseuds/obsequies
Summary: Move on boy, there is more to seek - the words Ansem told him before dying but Riku can't move on and isn't sure he wants to





	Wasting from Inside

_ Riku _

Waking up in sweat-soaked clothing and his heart pounding so hard he has to take a few deep breaths to steady his nerves has become the new normal. For a week straight he’s been dreaming of Ansem and their time together. He spent most of his life knowing Ansem, hearing his silky, deep voice in his ear while he slept, and now with Ansem’s death, he hasn’t known peace.

_ Move on boy, there is more to seek. _

“Hey,” Sora mumbles as he starts to wake up, too. “Did you have another nightmare?”

Riku nods but he doesn’t have the heart to tell Sora the complete truth. He’s had nightmares about Ansem for a week but he’s not certain he really would consider them nightmares. Bad dreams are ones you want to escape from but he doesn’t want to completely escape from these darker corridors. There is a large piece of him which wants to sink into the bad dream forever and let Ansem pull him back down in shadow.

He doesn’t have the heart to tell Sora the truth.

“I’m sorry,” Sora whispers. “Let’s get you into a bath.”

“No, I’m fine, Sora,”

“But you’re all sweaty,” Sora argues quietly but Riku slides out of bed so he can take himself to the bathroom for a bath. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe they’ve reached a point where they can be together, take baths on the regular, and not constantly leap at danger.

“I can do it myself, you should sleep,” Riku insists but Sora is tripping out of bed, trying to untangle from the blankets. “Sora-.”

“I can help,” Sora replies quickly. “I can help.”

Riku feels a soft smile fill his face at Sora’s insistent kindness. He’s always been a good and sweet person, no matter the dangers and darkness he’s faced Sora’s always remained pure and full of light. He lets Sora dash ahead to start filling the bath, remaining behind and slowly peeling off his sweat-soaked shirt and bottoms, trying to remind himself Sora has seen him without clothes plenty of times since they finally confessed their feelings for one another. He’s still shy walking into the bathroom, holding his hands across himself.

“Riku,” Sora chuckles. “I’ve seen you naked.”

“I know,” he mumbles, eyes down and face burning red. He’s glad the room is dark with the moon shining in through the window.

Sora pats the tub. “Get in, I’ll wash your hair.”

He bites his lip and wishes he could find a way to ask Sora to step out because he wants to sit alone. He’s been so kind, so sweet, and so understanding, Riku would hate to throw him out. He nods and slowly slips into the water, relishing in the heat rising up over his exhausted limbs, slowly leaning back, head tipping backward.

“You don’t have to wash my hair, Sora,” he says, trying to navigate murky waters. “You can go back to bed.”

“I want to,” Sora coos, using a pitcher to slowly slide water over Riku’s head and hair.

“I’m okay, really,” he says.

Sora pauses while reaching for soap. “Do you not want me in here?”

The trick question and catch-22; he could tell Sora he wants to be alone and hurt his feelings or he could let Sora stay here and be quiet. “It’s not that I don’t want you here,” Riku whispers. “I’m just in a bad mood after the nightmare and I don’t want to talk a lot.”

“Oh,” Sora says quietly. “Okay, I can let you be alone if that’s what you want.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly, feeling the guilt lap at his heels already. “I still care about you and am touched you want to help.”

Sora kisses the top of his head and walks out of the bathroom which makes him feel guilty and relieved all at once. Once Sora is gone, he sinks down in the tub until he’s submerged, slowly opening his eyes to stare up at the moon now obscured by the reflections of the water.

Thoughts of Ansem return and his voice reminds him of the warm water wrapping around his body now like a blanket. Ever since he was a child, Ansem had been a part of him; always there, quietly in the back of his mind, setting the ball in motion. He knows he shouldn’t crave the feeling and touch of Ansem on his soul but the pain of absence quickly returns to his heart.

_ I miss you _ , he thinks brokenly.  _ I miss you and I want you to come back to me. _

Lack of oxygen burns his lungs until he’s forced to sit up out of the water and gasp a fresh gulp of air. Water trails into his eyes, making him blink to clear his vision, and he stares at his distorted reflection in the mirrored surface of the water as it ripples. Half of his face is obscured by shadow in the reflection and he’s positive he feels a set of warm hands rest on his shoulders, thumbs cupping the back of his neck to dig into the muscle tension and knots.

The feeling is so real, he gasps, and slowly leans back into the touch until his back sinks against the side of the tub, head tilted backward. The hands slowly sink down over his shoulders and down across his chest, brushing over his nipples on the way down. Riku’s eyes widen as he watches the water darken slowly as if ink has dropped into the bath water.

Black clawed hands rake down his chest to his stomach, disappearing down into the water, sending chills up and down his spine. His breathing hastens while his heart rate picks up and he feels the blackened hands squeeze his thighs, forcing them apart. Riku pants when his cock hardens and he can feel Ansem’s hands wrapped around him so familiarly. Ansem taught him how to pleasure himself – this is no different than any other time. 

“Fuck,” Riku whispers while the water sloshes out of the tub with the quick jerk of Ansem’s hands. He whines and pants, trying to stay quiet so Sora doesn’t come back and see him this way but the pleasure is so thick and hot in his stomach. His mouth falls open into a moan and he almost spills out Ansem’s name but holds back as he remembers who is in the other room. 

_ Say it _ , Ansem whispers in his ear.  _ Say my name, boy _ . 

_ Ansem _ , his heart cries. 

“Sora,” he whispers out loud. The orgasm comes quick and he feels his hips lift in desperation, chest arching upward in silent pleasure. 

_ Disappointing _ . 

The warmth of Ansem’s hands fade away and Riku realizes the water is clear and the only hand around his softening dick is his own. He can hear Sora snoring in the other room which is a relief but he’s in the bathroom alone. Ansem isn’t here and probably had never been. His eyes slowly drift shut as he lets out a long breath. 

_ Move on _ , Ansem had told him but he can’t break free of the familiar chains. Maybe, he doesn’t want to. 

 


End file.
